Friday, July 21, 2006

Time For a Little Levity...

As most know, this blog is usually reserved for things of importance, like the global and pervasive apathy sometimes associated with the Muslim attempted take-over of the world.

However, there are times when we need a good laugh. This morning I was perusing my various and sundry blogs and ran across this post on one of them.

It takes to task the act of 'growing old' and 'being out of shape-eg,- being overweight and arthritic'.

In the article, the act of seeking out Doctor Smith is actual but the description of the proceedings may be a bit exaggerated.
Anyhoo, I thought it was cute and here it is:


Mi espousa (my wife; a little Mex lingo there) has been badgered by her back and neck lately. Pain, it seems, has been her almost constant, but not welcome, companion. So she did what any reasonable person would; she took a nap!--'no'--just kidding!
After several days of excrutiating pain, she went to see our favorite doctor, Doctor Smith of the Immediate Care walk-in clinic in Chico, Ca, a town 40 miles from here.(There are no good walk-in clinics in Red Bluff)

The good doctor examined her, had her stand and bend and twist and etcetera, etc, etc, and, oh yes, did I mention, etc? Then he had several xrays made of her back and neck and showed to us the finished pictures. There were no very bad bone spurs and no indication of the worse kind of osteoporosis, only arthritis. He then came to his conclusion and said aloud the most terrifying words we could imagine!

At first he hesitated, seeming to not want to say what he knew he had to say. Then, like the professional he is, he blurted it out! I cringed back in fear and Donna almost fainted when we heard his diagnosis and what had to be done to make life as bearable as possible for Donna in her remaining years.

What, you ask, did the stinking doctor say? OK, you asked for it:

He said, "Donna (the doctor calls my wife Donna because that is her name)"Donna, you need to lose weight and - are you ready? - EXERCISE!"

"GASP!!!" said Mi Espousa, (a little more Mex lingo there)"Not that!-Anything but that!"

Then he looked at me! I could feel beads of cold sweat forming on my brow-little flashes of light rushed across my eyes and I felt I needed to sit down and put my head down in case I started to pass out!

"Doctor Smith, " I murmured, "Does that go for me, too? Are you going to xray me? I mean, after all, I'm retired!"

The good Doctor answered in his most sympathetic but professional voice, "Yes, that goes for you, too, but there is no need for an xray! It's obvious, looking at you, the rest of it, the EXERCISE, is crucial."

"Will I actually have to-'gasp'-stand up from my computer chair?"
With tears in his eyes he nodded an affirmation. We left the building.

I don't remember pulling my car out of the parking lot-I barely remember driving home to Red Bluff. (That is, after, I foggily seem to recall, mi espousa, Donna and I pigged out at the Home Town Buffet restaurant-a panic reaction to that dreadful news from our Doctor)

Somehow I drove the forty miles home and got the car into the carport without crashing into anything.

The day was a blur, something I hope I never have to go through again. I know we have to live with the doctors' decision. I only hope the good Doctor can.



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