Sunday, April 09, 2006

Cancerous-To Be Or Not To Be...

Consider cancer: a human cell that won't conform to the normal cell structure and actions but spreads at a faster than normal rate and sometimes harms the surrounding tissue and the vital organs.

Looks like we might have a couple of cancers right here in the good old U S of A. Only they're called Mexicans and Muslims. (I could include homosexuals in this but, for specificity, choose not to at this time)
Now for a typical American story:

Once upon a time I noticed a small white, flaky spot on my right arm. It didn't itch, at least not at first, it was just there so I chose not to pay too much attention to it.

A few days later,I noticed a small brown spot on the inside of my left arm. It didn't itch either so I chose, also, not to pay much attention to that one.

Well, we all know how it is when you're busy and can't take time to really check things out. I'm doing whatever I want to right now and don't pay much attention to anything else.

Skip ahead to five years from now: The spot on my right arm has spread, outside and in. I go to the Doctor and he says, "You have cancer. It's a basal cell carcinoma. (...something evil or malignant that spreads destructively...) I'll have to remove part of your arm and your appendix and some lymph nodes and I'll build a huge fence around you and check it regularly (patrol it) so no more cancer can get in. You got here just in time." I ask if I'll live and he says you will but you'd better learn to speak Spanish. 'Whew', I say, it could be worse.

Twenty years later I go to the doctor about my left arm. He looks at it and, once again said, "You have cancer. It's a malignant melanoma."(...a malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis...) " "Oh, no, not again!" I said. "When can you take it out and fix me?"

The doctor checked me over, inside and out and after the checkup, told me to sit down.

I asked if he would do the same thing to heal me as he had the other time. He said, "No, I can't. This was on the inside of your arm and you didn't notice it as much as the other one, and now it's too late to do anything for you."

I said, "You mean I'm going to die?"

"No, you won't completely die, at least not right away, but things will be different from now on. You'll need to learn how to wrap a towel around your head and learn how to bow down and touch your head to the ground at least five times a day and learn how to praise allah (whoever he is) and give up alcoholic beverages and learn how to beat or even kill your wife for showing her face outside."

"I'd almost rather be dead than be like that," I said.

"Give it a few more years," the doc said, "and you will be! You just waited too long to do anything about either cancer so, live with it!"

Well, now what do we do? I know this sounds like a fairy tale but, just sit tight and don't complain to anyone (don't call or write to or e-mail the Pres or VP or Reps or Sen's) and we'll see if it is or not!

Excuse me now, I need to get back to my Spanish lesson and stick a burrito in the microwave!

Later...

2 Comments:

Blogger TexasFred said...

Thanks for the link in your side bar, I really appreciate it, I placed a link to your blog in my side bar as well... It's under the 'Friends and Neighbors' module...

Again, thank you...

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the dumbest fucking illogical uneductaed mixed metaphor closed mind piece of crap I've read all year.

Congratulations! You've won Propaganda Without Thinking Dumbass Of The Year Award!

BTW - just returning the favor of stupid thoughtless comments on my blog, but you are old and will die before I do.

12:27 AM  

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